A lot of students worry about their opening sentence(s). This is because you’ve probably been told that the first few lines of your personal statement need to grab the attention of the admissions tutor.
It’s good to think of a memorable way to kick things off but don’t overthink it or spend too much time on your opening; it’s not the be all and end all. Admissions tutors are less concerned with your ability to write a fancy or wacky introduction and more interested in your passion and enthusiasm for the course.
Begin your personal statement with a personal touch
Your opening doesn’t need to go over the top to impress admissions tutors. Jonathan Hardwick is a former head of sixth form and now a professional development manager at Inspiring Futures, a provider of careers information, advice and guidance to young people. He explains: ‘A straightforward sentence that goes on to demonstrate your enthusiasm is much better than trying to get their attention with an outrageous statement or a quote from an obscure historian about overcoming great difficulties.’
The most effective opening sentence will keep it nice and simple, and be personal to you. Think about what made you pick the subject and what you enjoy the most about it. Then try and summarise this in one or two sentences.
You could start your statement with something along the lines of ‘What I like most about studying French is getting to grips with a new culture. I enjoy the challenge of trying to read French literature, listen to French songs and watch French movies and plays in their original forms. I want to study French at university to improve my understanding of the language.’ To make sure it’s personal to you, draw on your own experiences and knowledge. Have you been to see a French opera performance or read the work of a French poet, for example?
‘Try to be as clear and concise as possible,’ advises Helen Relf, undergraduate admissions co-ordinator for English, drama & publishing at Loughborough University. ‘We are looking for bright, lively and articulate students who can tell us exactly why they are different or an individual.’ Cut the academic talk and long-winded sentences. Why say something in 20 words that you could say in ten words?
How not to begin your personal statement
To make sure your opening sentence is original, here are four ways you shouldn't begin your personal statement.
1. Avoid overused opening sentences
‘An admissions tutor might read over 3,000 personal statements a year so it can be hard to stand out,’ says Jonathan. Admissions tutors will appreciate it’s difficult to think of an opening that nobody will have ever used before. However, try to avoid using common openings that lots of students will use.
To give you an idea of the most overused openings, UCAS published a list of the ten most frequently used opening lines in personal statements in the 2015 application cycle. The most common opening was ‘From a young age I have always been interested in/fascinated by…’ (used by 1,179 students), while other openings on the list include ‘For as long as I can remember I have…’ (1,451 students), ‘I am applying for this course because…’ (1,370 students) and ‘I have always been interested in…’ (927 students).
2. Steer clear of clichéd openings and childhood anecdotes
‘Avoid anything too whimsical,’ advises Emma-Marie Fry, an area director at Inspiring Futures. Emma manages the career guidance team in London and the south-east and goes into schools to deliver support to students.
She says: ‘Admissions tutors want to know about your brain's potential and your education and development, not your childhood dreams. If getting your first telescope when you were five sparked your interest in astronomy or you’ve wanted to be a doctor ever since you broke your leg when you were six, that’s great, but it’s not what the admissions tutors need to know. What have you done more recently?’
Similarly, avoid talking about what your family members do for a living. ‘Don’t say “My parent is a teacher so I want to be a teacher.” It needs to be personal to you,’ says Jonathan. Instead, explain what you’ve done that’s made you want to become a teacher. Did you shadow a teacher at your local primary school for a week? Or do you spend your Sundays coaching the local children’s football team?
3. Be wary of opening your personal statement with a joke
You might have thought of the perfect joke to start your statement with, but does it set the right tone? And will the admissions tutor share your sense of humour?
‘Admissions tutors like to see originality but they don’t like too much jokiness,’ warns Emma. ‘They want to get a sense of you as a person but this means your academic strength and passion for the subject, not your sense of humour.’
4. Begin your personal statement with your own voice, not a quote from a famous person
Epigraphs – aka quotes – aren’t nearly as interesting to admissions tutors as what you’ve got to say yourself. ‘It might be tempting to start your personal statement with an epigraph but, often, beginning with your own words is best and more likely to be original,’ says Dr Helen Moggridge, a lecturer in geography at the University of Sheffield. If you do want to include a quote, make sure it’s relevant to the course you’re applying for and always explain how this quote links back to you and the subject you want to study.
You might think that a famous quote will help you stand out but you won’t be the only person who thinks it would be a great idea to include a well-known quote from the likes of Mahatma Ghandi, William Shakespeare, Karl Lagerfeld and so on. If you’re applying to study psychology, for example, it would be better to ditch the quote from Sigmund Freud in favour of a quote from a less well-known psychologist that you encountered through your wider reading.
You should also think about whether the person you are quoting is appropriate or not. ‘Avoid inspirational quotes from Drake or Kanye West, for example,’ says Emma. Similarly, it might not be wise to quote a reality TV star from The Only Way is Essex or Made in Chelsea.
Finally, steer clear of generic inspirational quotes about chasing your dreams, overcoming obstacles and the power of education. This can sound wishy washy or even a little bit pretentious and it doesn’t tell the admissions tutor anything about you or why you’re interested in the course.
Not sure how to begin your personal statement? Consider writing your opening sentence last
Just because your opening sentence is the first thing the admissions tutors will read, that doesn’t mean it needs to be the first section of your personal statement that you write. It can be tricky to decide how you want to begin your statement so, if you’re stuck on what to write, consider taking a break from it and focusing on other sections of your personal statement.
It might seem unusual but you might even find it easier to make your opening sentence the last thing you write. This will help you think about what the rest of your statement goes on to say and, therefore, how you can best introduce it.
Remember that the opening sentence is only a small part of the 4,000 characters that make up your personal statement. What you go on to write next is far more important to admissions tutors so don’t focus too much time and effort on just the opening sentence.
For help on what to write next, read our article on what to include in your UCAS personal statement. You can also use our course search to find the courses you want to apply to.
It was when I earned my first pound at the age of ten washing my mother's car that I became interested in the power of money. Over time it became clear to me that the people who understand the monetary and banking system are capable of understanding the decisions made by governments and the future of society. I want to be one of those people.
To broaden my knowledge of different areas of finance, I have read a number of different books on the subject - from "How the City of London Works" to "Rich Dad Poor Dad". I am also a regular reader of the Economist magazine. I believe that reading such books and magazines has given me insight into topics not covered at school, for example how Japanese management in Chinese factories caused unrest among the workforce due to the Chinese workers' dislike of the Japanese management style, and how this affected the share price of companies such as Honda. Reading about such things has made me realise how the subject of Finance and the economy affects everybody's lives, and has strengthened my desire to further study the subject. The A-level subjects I am studying give me a firm foundation for studying Finance at University. Business Studies at A-level has greatly improved my analytical and writing skills. I have particularly enjoyed the part of the course which concerns how a firm selects financial strategies and how managers choose which aspect of a firm needs the most investment. German has improved my communication skills and self-confidence and has also made me more appreciative and open to other cultures. Alongside the logical method of thinking that I have developed from Mathematics at A-level, I believe that I am well prepared to take on a degree course in Finance at University.
My part-time job as a receptionist at a sports and leisure club has given me some insight into the demands of working life. Having worked there since May, I now feel I am an able employee and because of the nature of the job. I have learned how to communicate with colleagues, my employer and of course, customers. I often have to work alone so I have learned to use my own initiative and how to be independent - skills which are of paramount importance if I want to work in the financial industry.
Since the age of eleven, a hobby and a major interest of mine is Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. This year I won the Welsh Open under 18 absolute division and in 2010 I won a silver medal in the under 18 lightweight division in the European Championships. My previous successes include being the team captain for the Indonesian National Children's team, where we won the Pan Asian team Championships, beating The Philippines in the final. Balancing my academic life with the rigours of playing a sport at such a level has been very challenging at times. The weeks and months leading up to a major competition are usually pretty stressful, but, as I have now been through the experience many times, I have learned how to deal with immense pressure - and how to enjoy the success which comes afterwards! In addition to this, I have learned about commitment and dedication as well as honour and how to handle a major loss, and also how to remain humble in victory. The things I have learned from Jiu-Jitsu will help me throughout my life; not only during University, but during my career and long afterwards.
I am taking a gap year so I can earn some money in order to travel and to pay for some of the costs of University. I intend to keep my job as a receptionist and also to take on some teaching at the sports and leisure club and, when I have enough money, I am planning to travel around Europe and South America. I believe this experience will be worthwhile as I will come to University with greater maturity after experiencing other cultures.
A possible career option is to do something involved in banking or investments - I certainly hope I will never have to wash another car again!